Negative Voices in Our Head

Within us reside countless voices, and not all of them offer good advice. Many advise us from places of fear, anxiety, pessimism, or worry.

Psychology refers to these thoughts as ANT (Automatic Negative Thoughts). "ANT" also means "ant", and no word represents them better because they are indeed like very annoying ants in our heads that don't leave us in peace. The problem is that we can move away from a place with ants, but we can't escape from our heads.

It's easy to become prey to this overwhelming dynamic when we grant our thoughts the status of absolute truth. Instead of questioning our thoughts, we let ourselves be subdued and obey them as if they were commands to be followed. Negative thoughts drain us of a tremendous amount of energy, leaving us exhausted and demoralized.

The problem is not that we think but that we forget that a thought is just that: a thought, not a concrete and objective reality. And indeed you have found that many of the things that haunt us ultimately do not happen or are not as dramatic as they were anticipated.

How can we save ourselves so much unnecessary suffering?

We can't avoid thinking. Life constantly presents us with challenges and difficult situations. Anticipating scenarios and thinking about the events we are experiencing is perfectly normal. The problem arises when, instead of observing those thoughts as something that is in our mind and will go away, we start fighting them or feeding them until they become a snowball we can't stop.

It's essential to be aware and recognise when these thoughts start gaining ground. Just as the sky gradually clouds over, so does our mind when we let these thoughts advance. Just as the sun clears the sky, so our awareness cleans and clarifies what is clouded in our head.

Awareness helps us discern what is true and what is not in the mental mess we are in. When we become aware of what is moving in our head, we take control again and take the reins.

Strategies to Neutralize Negative Thoughts

There are practices and skills that protect us from getting trapped in the chain of automatic thoughts. These skills are concrete resources that help us not to succumb to the siren songs in our head.

It's not in our hands not to think, but we can channel what we think. Taking care of ourselves when our mind begins to gallop is our responsibility. How we manage our thoughts will determine how we treat ourselves:

• Learn to Observe Our Mind: Making this strategy a daily habit turns us into more lucid and aware beings. Just as if you were a spectator, take note of everything that inhabits your mind, just observe it and let it pass. If we don't fight with our thoughts, if we don't start arguing with them or feed them with more seasonings, they will soon dissipate until they disappear because they are nothing more than thoughts, not tangible and real realities.

• Identify and Avoid Triggers of Negative Thoughts: We are experts at harming ourselves with these... that song that reminds us of pain, that image, that place, certain people. Enough of enhancing what torments us! Being responsible for ourselves and especially being emotional adults, means learning to protect ourselves from those unhealthy tendencies that exacerbate the problem instead of alleviating it. Learn to be an ally to yourself, don't make it harder for you! Replace negative triggers with stimuli that generate pleasant and comforting sensations in you.

• Reframe Your Rumination: Rumination is excessive thought patterns that follow you relentlessly. It's the fallacy of believing that by thinking about something over and over, we are solving it. Well, we're not! It's a mistake that leaves us exhausted from so much energy it demands. Before looking for a solution, we must discern what is true and what is mere fabrication. It wouldn't be strange that after subtracting the "fantastic additions" there's nothing concrete to worry about.

• Activate the Body: When you find yourself drowning in your thoughts, channel that energy into your body. Going for a run and walking actively clears our mind and helps release endorphins that change our way of thinking. Surely you've found that you feel in a better mood after physical activity. This resource is a fundamental strategy. We must to develop the willpower to use it even when we don't feel like it.

• Define Positive Anchors: Learn to recognize which people generate good vibes for us, which situations or activities motivate us, the music that cheers us up and the readings that change our perspective and spread them in our life. Positive anchors are resources to not let ourselves be carried away by our automatic negative tendencies. If you do a lot of what is good for you, you will feel better and better. But it's worth clarifying here... what is good for us does not always coincide with what gives us the most pleasure. Making this distinction is fundamental to not fall into empty hedonisms that gratify us in the moment but then make things get worse or feel guilty.

• Be Compassionate: If negative thoughts revolve around our mistakes, limitations, or weaknesses, we must recognise ourselves as fallible human beings in continuous evolution. The smart thing is to learn from our weaknesses and give ourselves time to strengthen what we desire. Mistreating ourselves is never the way to progress or unfold.

• Help Others: Science has shown that altruistic people are happier. The dynamics of negative thoughts make us focus only on our problems and not be able to see beyond. Offering ourselves to others helps us get out of our navel-gazing and make us feel more comfortable with ourselves.

This Too Shall Pass...

Recognizing the transient and impermanent nature of a thought relieves us. Many of the thoughts that chase and burden us the most have no more power than what we give them each time we, instead of observing them and letting them pass, feed them with more and more thoughts that together become a big snowball hard to stop. My advice is not to make a chain out of a single link. Every time a disturbing thought appears in your mind, use the seven strategies I shared with you, and you will see that what now seems so serious "will also pass" without the additional cost of making yourself so upset.

As Master Po said, "The mind is like a root, it absorbs everything it touches," for this reason... take care of your environment, what surrounds you, what you feed on, and also take care of your most harmful parts to recognize them in time and manage them with clarity and awareness.