Deciding the difficult

Sometimes, it's challenging for us to realize what we want, and many times, we know it, but we hesitate to take the step that leads us from where we are to where we truly desire to go.

Perhaps some people are not very clear about where they want to go, but they do know that they no longer want to be where they are. Sometimes, it's about putting an end to a relationship, leaving a job that weighs us down, abandoning a city or a country that stresses us, or changing a trait of ourselves that causes problems. Each person must recognize where life feels heavy or tight, just like an uncomfortable shoe that one is tired of wearing. It is not very difficult to know "where things are not going well" if we honestly look into the mirror of our soul, which never deceives...

If there's one thing common to the overwhelming situations, it is the need for an internal change that reflects outward through some movement. However, change often arouses tremendous anxiety within us. As human beings, we associate stability with survival, and we cling to our circumstances. In this endeavor to stay alive and avoid any possible risks, we might forget what is fundamentally essential: making ourselves happy by creating conditions that facilitate internal states of contentment and peace.

We become desensitized to numb the pain or compensate for the accumulated discomfort with fleeting daily pleasures. In truth, what soothes us in the short term only prolongs and chronifies our unhappiness.

The discomfort of the soul is similar to physical pain. If we have an injury or symptom that we silence with painkillers, we will delay taking "serious" and definitive action to address the root cause of our suffering. However, when the pain becomes unbearable, we confront it directly and take responsibility for it. Similarly, when we have had enough of a situation, when the discomfort reaches its saturation point, that's when we can finally say, "enough!" and start moving, shaking the rigidity of the routines of unhappiness we have become accustomed to either by neglect or fear of rearranging the pieces in a different way.

The drop that overflows the glass sometimes saves us...

Nothing happens overnight; for the glass to overflow, there were drops that perhaps we weren't fully aware of on their own, but when added together, they drowned us to the point of no longer being able to breathe. It may sound strange, but not being able to breathe in an environment that harms us or not being able to sustain habits that need to be changed is the best thing that can happen to us! Because it leaves us no other option but to change what hurts us if we want to keep breathing.

Only then, when suffering outweighs the fear of change, we stop making excuses and justifications. Taking action is the best choice. Some people, upon this realization, empower themselves and do what they had been postponing. Others, as a first step, seek help to be accompanied towards what they still don't dare but don't want to keep deceiving themselves. Asking for help helps them not to forget what is important to them; it works as an alarm or a reminder of what they saw in a moment of clarity and unconsciously fear losing sight of. Sometimes, it's not so good for the pain to stop hurting if we haven't done enough yet. Why? Because without realizing it, we can fall back into the inertia of returning to the same old patterns without having done anything different.

Moving a game piece to a different position means nothing if we keep repeating the same move...

It's like emptying the glass and then filling it drop by drop until it inevitably overflows again, and we find ourselves in despair, trapped in a vicious circle that seems never-ending, and that we perpetuate ourselves. Addressing the true cause of suffering is like turning off the tap instead of emptying the container every time it overflows. When we finally put an end to what harms us, it's time to embrace the uncertainty that lies ahead. The only certainty we can rely on is that we were not in a good place, and we don't want to go back. That's progress...

How to navigate the uncertainty that comes from not knowing what will come?

1- Embrace uncertainty as a step towards a healthier certainty.

Recognizing uncertainty as part of the transformation process protects us from trying to avoid it at all costs. Like a hiker who is surprised by a torrential rain and accepts getting wet, maintaining a steady pace instead of running away to avoid the inevitable, we must adopt the same attitude towards uncertainty when making changes.Feeling fear of the unknown is natural; it is neither right nor wrong—it just happens, and we must accept it as it comes.

Failing in action always brings a lesson and learning, while perpetuating inaction condemns us to repeat the same mistake without any evolution. It is better to dare and fail than to be entrenched in the same place, paralyzed and numb, unable to move forward.

2- To navigate uncertainty, concentrate on the present moment and avoid looking too far ahead.

When driving in fog, we can only see a meter ahead of us, and what saves us from an accident is being attentive to clear the immediate space. The invisible becomes visible as we advance through the dense cloud, which gradually clears and lightens as we make our way. The same applies to uncertainty, which appears as a dense mass concealing what lies behind. However, what we fear as the worst often turns out to be better because our internal alarm against all risks tends to exaggerate its predictions.

There is nothing more dangerous than staying certain of being in a bad situation and enduring it. Taking a leap into something different with hope for something better restores our dignity and gives us a purpose to fight for.

The antidote for uncertainty is to focus on the "today," to think only about the most immediate step to be taken. It is not advisable to accumulate anxiety by constantly looking at the challenges that lie ahead. The wisest approach is to deal with what is most urgent and take the next step with intelligence and clarity. When the rest comes, we will surely find ourselves stronger, thanks to the learning acquired during the journey.

If we think of changes as leaps, it will give us more vertigo than proper prevention. Instead, taking one step at a time, making the most immediate decision, and dealing with what happens along the way as the path becomes clearer, helps calm anxiety in turbulent times. Uncertainty requires time, just as fog needs the sun to dissipate.

3- Accept the possibility of making mistakes without self-punishment.

Making mistakes is part of the journey of embarking on something different. We cannot expect that all the decisions and actions we take will be correct, without any unexpected consequences, or miraculously go perfectly from the start.

When what used to be no longer is, we need to try new ways, attempt more than once until we achieve what we desire. Many times, we come to realize what works because we have discarded what doesn't. In this way, "failing" brings us closer to the truth, just as what we perceive as a failure enlightens the path to success because it eliminates one possibility of remaining in error.

Being allies to ourselves, treating ourselves with kindness when things go wrong or don't turn out as expected, is an act of compassion and self-care towards the only being we truly have: ourselves.

4- Enumerate the resources we have.

We tend to wonder about the difficulties we will have to face, but we give little or no thought to considering the strengths of our personality. The circumstances can be tough, that's true. It's not about underestimating reality, but rather appreciating it objectively and not minimizing the resources we have to navigate through it with strength. Fear and anxiety arise when we perceive that our coping resources will be insufficient to confront the situation we have to face.

Enumerating our abilities, competencies, skills, and external support places us in a more balanced position to dare to confront what scares us. Among our resources are personality traits, social support networks, education, knowledge, accumulated experiences, and the energy we have to fight against what initially seems difficult.

5- Visualize the desired reality as an anchor to prevent us from retreating.

One motivation is to find a "reason for action." When this motivation is visualized, there is no fear that can stop us, because the desire to reach the desired situation outweighs the fear of traveling from here to there. And even when the fear is overwhelming, the desired situation can function as an anchor to prevent us from stepping back when we feel like collapsing. If we need to recharge or reposition ourselves, we can pause, but motivation is what helps us get back on track. Visualizing how we will feel when we conquer what we long for, how the new scenario will be when chaos turns into a desired balance, keeps us focused on not abandoning the purpose we started.

Every distant change begins by taking a first step. There is no reward for those who don't dare. Daring is not only about taking a risk; it's also about giving ourselves courage when the difficult seems impossible.

There is no better option than venturing into what appears to be unattainable than to continue in the simple and known, which eventually becomes the most torturous and truly challenging. We cannot escape what we postpone, and sometimes that harsh reality catches us when we are more tired and hopeless. That's why the time is now, and the best moment is now, to change what we know very well is harming us.

The invitation is to dare and to give ourselves courage in the face of what seems very difficult. Living a quality life requires brave individuals who take responsibility for what they go through and feel, and also for what they don't, and that's why they are where they are and feel bad.

We must not settle for merely breathing; let's strive to live intensely and feel happiness in every inhalation and exhalation, reminding us that blood runs through our veins and joy fills our spirit. It's up to us, and no one else. These are decisions that each one must make. Saying "enough" can be what saves us. From what? From a life of unhappiness and accumulated misery.