Feeling like a fraud

Have you ever worried that people will discover you're less skilled than they think? Do you believe luck plays a more significant role in achieving your goals than your actual abilities? Do you feel undeserving of your successes?

If so, you might be experiencing impostor syndrome. It's the overwhelming sensation that someday, people will realise you're a fraud and that you don't truly deserve any of your achievements.

Many struggle to internalise and claim their successes. Despite receiving praise, they silently feel like frauds, believing they're never knowledgeable enough to be considered intelligent and capable. They can't cut themselves slack, pushing themselves harder than necessary. This leads them to believe their achievements, big or small, are due to putting in twice the effort of others, not because of their intellect or ease of accomplishment.

They often view successful individuals as naturally talented, easily achieving what they can only dream of. By comparing themselves to the very best and setting impossibly high standards, they're left feeling perpetually inadequate, struggling to be content with who they are and their worth.

Impostor syndrome doesn't discriminate, affecting both men and women, especially those who are hyper-critical and paradoxically successful. Even after gaining some level of recognition, they can't ease up, fearing a drop in performance. They're trapped in a cycle of needing more achievements and knowledge to feel good about themselves, potentially never feeling satisfied with their identity or accomplishments at any moment.

Behaviour Patterns of Those Feeling Like Impostors:

Perfectionists:

They set unattainably high goals for themselves. Even achieving 99% of these goals feels like a failure due to the elusive 1%. Any minor mistake triggers a cascade of self-doubt.

Experts:

They believe they must know everything before starting a project, constantly seeking new certifications to enhance their skills. They may avoid applying for jobs unless they meet every single requirement, fearing looking foolish by asking questions or speaking up.

Innate Genius:

When hard work is necessary to succeed, they see it as evidence of their inadequacy, believing true abilities should come effortlessly.

Soloists:

They think they must achieve everything independently, viewing the need for help as a sign of failure.

Overachievers:

Driven by fear of falling behind, they demand perfection in every life aspect, leading to stress when they feel they don't measure up.

Is It Innate or Developed?

Impostor syndrome stems from a mix of anxious temperament and high-pressure environments. Childhood memories, such as never feeling good enough for one's parents or being overshadowed by a sibling, can leave lasting effects. Early on, individuals might internalise the belief that love and acceptance are contingent on success.

Overcoming Impostor Syndrome:

The first step is acknowledging these internal dialogues and putting them into perspective instead of identifying with them. Detaching from our mind's content can be healing. Telling ourselves, "This is just a thought within me," simplifies life. Asking, "Does this thought serve or hinder me?" marks significant progress in our self-awareness journey.

Feeling like an impostor doesn't mean one lacks capability, intelligence, or competence. It suggests we need to learn to think like those who don't feel like frauds. Being less critical of ourselves, allowing for mistakes, and embracing our imperfections can significantly alleviate the burdens of daily life.

If this resonates with you, take a deep breath. No amount of luck or favourable circumstances can diminish your worth. Embrace your personal growth journey without unnecessary pressures. Without the wisdom to live kindly and treat ourselves well, intelligence is a hollow tool. Ensure your development is in harmony with your well-being.