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The importance of "Internal Coherence" for feeling at peace

Por Corina Valdano

February 15, 2023

Internal Coherence: Thinking, Feeling and Acting in the same direction.

Internal Coherence... for many, this is a new term they can begin to use and apply, while for others, it serves as a reminder of the relevance of "co-laboring" to ensure that feeling, thinking, and acting are tuned in such a way that the music that emerges is a worthy melody to listen to. I emphasize the word "collaborate" because it truly is a challenging task of cooperation and communication between those instances that often struggle to dialogue and agree.

How many times do we find ourselves acting in ways that are very different from what our wisest conscience advises us? When inconsistency knocks on our door, it shatters us into a thousand pieces. We feel one thing, think another, and do the opposite. As a result of this division, our authentic values become distant from our more primitive ways of acting, and consequently, we feel alienated from ourselves.

How to begin manoeuvering with our incongruences?

Developing this skill requires the effort to become skillful tightrope walkers of our most impulsive tendencies. If the term "internal incoherence" resonates in your consciousness, it's because you are one of those people who strive to become more consistent and beneficial to themselves and others. Foolish individuals, far from self-observation, go through life without pausing to question themselves. Indeed, those who do not confront their own incongruences live in a state of unconsciousness. They fail to shed light on their own clumsiness and darkness because, ultimately, contradiction is inherent to the human being.

Being an "integrated" person requires the work of integrating all our parts—the ones we take pride in and the ones we are ashamed of, the ones we show and the ones we hide. When we accept that we don't always act in the ways we desire, when we recognize ourselves as fallible humans, only then can we make the decision to improve ourselves and aspire to inner coherence, a source of great happiness and personal satisfaction.

 

When we accept that we don't always act in the ways we desire, when we recognize ourselves as fallible humans, only then can we make the decision to improve ourselves and aspire to inner coherence, a source of great happiness and personal satisfaction.

When Incongruence Begins to Weigh

Sometimes, giving in to a lower impulse or temptation comes at the terrible cost of having to deal later with the weight that reminds us of the strength of a particular value. A person who succumbs to an extramarital affair will experience dissonance within themselves when the value of family and loyalty presents itself in their mind with the clarity and force of the evidence of what is essential. An honest person who keeps extra change will likely return home and begin to feel a certain discomfort that won't take long to identify. A responsible person will feel internal incoherence if they are paid a salary for work they didn't commit to or know they didn't give their best effort to. External punishment is not necessary when an evolving consciousness demands an explanation.

External punishment is not necessary when an evolving consciousness demands an explanation.

From the most insignificant dissonant act to the most painful and embarrassing, it has an effect on us and others that we cannot ignore. A signal from our lucid consciousness reminds us of the deepest Original Essence, that fundamental part that lies behind our clumsy and contradictory personality.

Personality often leads us to react without considering the consequences of our actions. Essence, on the other hand, guides us from universal ethics. It is an internal voice that we should not confuse with the moral critic we are accustomed to hearing. The latter is incisive, like a woodpecker, constantly marking what is right or wrong and forcing us to act out of obligation rather than a sense of responsibility.

Behind this corrosive voice, there is another voice that only intervenes with the purpose of helping us mature what needs to be transcended. With a gentler tone, it reminds us of what we sometimes forget in our daily dynamics: our greatest capital is the values that guide our universal ethics. Honesty, truth, solidarity, cooperation, generosity, kindness, compassion are some of the human qualities that transcend borders and go beyond any culture, religion, race, or tradition. They are values not learned within a contextual framework; they are the ones that contribute to the advancement and progress of our collective consciousness as humanity. The more internal congruence we cultivate individually, the more cohesion we reap as a collective.

 

When we transgress a substantial value, the rift of our internal incoherence widens, and we lose serenity.

 

Internal incoherence demands enormous energy from us. It forces us to justify and argue in order not to feel so bad. However, when universal values serve as the guiding light for our actions, we can choose to act in accordance with the consequences we want to feel. Thus, harmony, serenity, and inner peace are qualities that are cultivated with every step we take, with every conscious decision we make. There are no incense sticks, no aromas, no relaxing music that can mask "what is not" to make it better. There is no teacher, saint, or god that can illuminate or purify what needs to be conquered as a result of inner work. It is necessary to accept the rough, the harsh, the dark within each of us for the delicate, the more conscious and enlightened to emerge. We are like oysters hiding a pearl that can only be obtained through the opening and unfolding of our consciousness. Like celebrated alchemists, we can transmute lead into gold. Recognizing our incongruences is the most authentic step we can take for the most valuable aspects of ourselves to emerge.

 

No one becomes enlightened by fantasizing about beings of light, but by making their darkness conscious. - Carl Gustav Jung

 

With each decision, each behavior or omission, it is healthy and enriching to pause and anticipate how we will feel as a consequence of the seed we have just sown. Will we reap integrity, strength, well-being, and internal coherence as a harvest? Or, on the contrary, will we settle for a pleasure that fades when what is important emerges? Do we orient ourselves from the values of our Essence or do we simply limit ourselves to obeying the whims of the ego, which seeks to be right at the expense of inner peace?

Learning from our previous experiences, recognizing the "personal taste" we feel when the emotional tide subsides or immediate satisfaction falls short, is the result of a person who reflects on themselves by examining their own work and strives to feel dignity and peace, rather than taking advantage of any vain eventuality. Thinking of ourselves as beings in a long-term process is a safeguard against falling into the short-term hooks that Life presents us with. Are they meant to harm us? No, they are there to train our consciousness to realize what is truly worthwhile and to differentiate it from what is not...

 

Recognizing the impact of our actions and striving for inner peace and dignity instead of seeking short-term gratification.

 

I invite you to ask yourself, How coherent are you being in your life? Achieving coherence is to conquer a large part of the tranquility and mental calmness we need to feel comfortable with who we are becoming each day.