How can we be more and more "Oneself"?

About Being Oneself...

What are Essence and Personality? How do we live in "internal coherence"? How do we align our Essence and our Personality? When we say "I Am," who are we referring to?

Our Essence is the portion of the Whole that resides in each of us. This innate, unconditioned Essence requires a Personality and a Body to navigate its human experience.

Our "Personality" is nothing more than a repertoire of learnings, conditionings, and survival mechanisms, which adhere to our essential identity, forming a kind of crust, an artificial identity. Therefore, what we call "I" is nothing more than a superficial coating of the most essential thing that lies within us.

Our "Personality" is nothing more than a repertoire of learnings, conditionings, and survival mechanisms, which adhere to our essential identity, forming a kind of crust, an artificial identity.

The problem and the feeling of alienation appear when we incarnate that provisional character that we build and forget that we are not “our masks.”

Our personality is sculpted from all the experiences we have already had and from exposure to new experiences and the emotions associated with them. It is an "ongoing process," which is why we have the ability and the power to update it if we abandon the very human tendency to remain fixed in the comfortable belief, "I am like this."

Personality vs. Essence?

Our Personality is not necessarily opposed to our Essence. We tend to polarize from the mind and conclude that the Essence is "pure and good" and that the Ego or Personality is "impure or bad." Nothing could be further from the truth... Personality is absolutely necessary to survive and adapt to this world. Dysfunction occurs when the Personality does not represent our True Essence. When, instead of being a vehicle for the expression of our Essence, it leads us down paths that have nothing to do with who we feel we are inside, for example, a "creative essence" in an office job, an "adventurous essence" in the monotony of a routine, a "social essence" in a situation of isolation.

As we grow, we forget "who we are" to the detriment of who others expect us to "be." We monitor others and adjust who we are to what we believe will be approved, first by those closest to us (our parents), and then that extends to our peer group and society at large. It is then that the personality hinders rather than facilitates the expression of our interiority. When this happens, we feel that we are not being who we came to be. "That" which we experience inside as a "feeling of lack" is, in truth, what we have in excess... What do we have in excess? We have excess fears, deficiencies, complexes, insecurities, and worries, which, like layers and layers of an onion, cover and hide our true "Self."

Reconnecting

When, as adults, we fail to return to our Essence, "to come back home", we feel a sense of betrayal and strangeness. It is as if something that needs to be birthed and brought to light is left halfway, overshadowed by our fear of being "unpopular" or not fitting in. Thus, we end up saying yes when we mean no, doing the opposite of what our heart tells us... At first, our Essence (as it can) claims its place. It tries to catch our attention through whispers, synchronicities, sadness, discomfort, a feeling of emptiness, physical symptoms, and even severe illnesses. When it manages to "wake us" from inertia, this is our opportunity to align our Essence and Personality. On the contrary, when it is ignored and tired of shouting, the Personality takes total control, and we become mechanized without even stopping to ask ourselves if we are living the life we desire.

Children are Pure Essence

Observing a child, one can easily see their vivid enthusiasm and longing to explore, learn, and discover. Their capacity for wonder and amazement is palpable. As the Personality becomes more and more overlapping, it gradually eclipses its spontaneity. Then, that innate inspiration loses its glow, and our behaviours become increasingly rigid and artificial.

However, it's always time to work on it if we embark on awakening our Essence through honest work towards ourselves. When we directly face what we realize we've left pending, we are always in time, at any age, to live a more authentic life in coherence with our purest nature.

When, as adults, we begin to reconsider and ask ourselves questions, not out of the urgency to survive but out of the importance of how we want to live, we gradually lighten the layers of our onion to reach our centre. It's not about annihilating our ego but about re-creating a more aligned personality, polishing what's excess, completing what's missing, resolving internal blockages that have prevented us from making contact with ourselves, and expressing who we truly are.

Thus, the first personality is created by the world and those around us. The second is that we recreate ourselves from the courage and weariness of not wanting to continue "denying ourselves."

The first chart represents a person who, after working on themselves, has managed to align their Personality with their true Essential nature. The second chart illustrates a Personality that has become trapped in external demands and the need to fit in at the cost of distortion.

When we become like fried eggs, we cannot navigate our lives coherently, unfold a full vocation, or have real social interactions. How can we feel light and happy with masks that do not represent us at all, pulling ourselves in one direction to please and tightening from another so as not to crash?

This option condemns us to live a poor life determined from the outside. And it leaves our Essence buried underground.

I invite you to sharpen two fundamental tools to retune with what's buried that needs to be rescued:

• Self-Observation:

Take a step back to distance yourself from the usual and begin to "realize" all that we do out of habit, automatism, or mere repetition.

• Self-Study:

From what we have observed, we must begin to analyze the information we collect and decipher in what situations, with what people, at what moments we feel what we feel, what happens to us, and how that reinforces our old way of being or gives rise to a new, more authentic one.

Returning Home

Navigating the journey of self-discovery involves understanding the intricate dance between our Essence and Personality. Our Essence represents our true nature, the unconditioned part of ourselves that connects us to the universal whole. It's the core of who we are beyond learned behaviours and societal conditioning. In contrast, our Personality is shaped by our experiences, societal norms, and survival mechanisms, acting as a mask or a role we play in the external world.

Living in internal coherence means harmonizing these two aspects of ourselves so that our actions and decisions reflect our true nature rather than just societal expectations or learned responses. It's about peeling away the layers of conditioning to reveal the luminous being within and making choices that resonate deeply with our inner truth.

When we utter "I Am," we stand at the crossroads of Essence and Personality. The journey to align these aspects is not about rejecting the Personality but rather refining it to become a true expression of our Essence. This alignment fosters authenticity, where our choices, relationships, and life paths resonate with the deepest parts of ourselves, creating a life of purpose, fulfilment, and joy.

Thus, the quest to be "One's Self" is a call to remember and express our intrinsic nature, to live a life that genuinely reflects who we are at our core. It's an invitation to embark on the greatest adventure of all: discovering and expressing the true "I Am" that resides within each of us, beyond the roles and masks. This journey of self-alignment and authenticity not only transforms us but also the world around us as we navigate our lives with a profound sense of purpose and inner coherence.

From then on, be attentive to finding situations to "rehearse" new ways of behaving, not from reaction but from our capacity to respond consciously to each event. Come as close as possible to ways of BEING more authentic without pretences to disguise what we no longer want to mask.