Our Internal Characters

Our Internal Voices

Do you often feel like there's a multitude of voices talking to you all at once in your head? Don't be alarmed! You don't have any psychotic disorder, but rather multiple "selves" trying to assert their opinions. Chaos, confusion, and internal contradiction between opposing internal parts that see life in different ways, and all seem to have their "reason." Inside us dwell a multitude of characters called "subpersonalities," each with its priorities, instincts, desires, and "its own manual" on how life should be lived.

Within us reside a conservative and traditional part, a bold part, an aggressive and judgmental one, a compassionate and maternal part, a demanding one that always wants more, a grateful part, and another unsatisfied one that no one can satisfy. There's also the lethargic part, the procrastinator, the one that "can't take it anymore," the one that wants to say enough! as well as the one that feels guilty for not responding to so many demands.

That's why we find ourselves thinking one thing, feeling another, and doing the opposite, depending on which internal voices we listen to, depending on our mood or subjective appreciation of reality at a given moment. When we need to argue and justify a decision, we let ourselves be advised by the voices that support such a position. This makes us dizzy and ultimately confused about who to follow. Who is right? Which voice is truly a reliable compass to navigate reality? In the end, the big question we ask ourselves is: What is my most authentic part? Which is the voice I should truly follow?

The Multiplicity of Our Internal Characters

The cases of psychosis under the diagnosis of "Multiple Personality Disorder" are simply an intensification of this internal structure divided into hundreds of parts or subpersonalities, which in non-pathological cases, corresponds to any "normal" individual.

Gone is the notion that personality is a homogeneous, coherent, and seamless whole. Sometimes we feel our mind split into a thousand pieces, and each piece has its reason for being in the great ecosystem of our psyche. We may want to appear coherent to the outside world, but internally we constantly feel contradiction.

This is particularly true for those who dare to question what they want, to delve deep into the apparent, and to step out of their automatic pilot and usual routines.

And it's important to note: following desire is not always a guarantee of happiness, just as being purely rational automates us and disconnects us from the heart.

Eastern Wisdom Traditions and neuroscience support what Transpersonal Psychology posits. This psychology tells us that personality is made up of countless subpersonalities. Imagine a uniform and homogeneous circumference representing the personality. Now, if we approach with a kind of fictional microscope, we'll see that this single piece suddenly resembles more of a "mosaic art" joined together. Each mosaic is a "self," and each self is a sub-personality with its own way of being, expressing, dressing, gesturing, thinking, and desiring.

However, we tend to think we have only one way of being. Maintaining the illusion of having a "Self" that identifies and provides us with identity gives us tranquility and some stability. But let's ask ourselves... Is it the same Self that wears a suit and tie to a work meeting, the one that goes to the stadium with friends, the one that attends a family gathering and asks his mom to cook something delicious, the one that puts on perfume to go out and seduce? Is the femme fatale in high heels the same as the one who goes to the supermarket? Does the demanding professional resemble the overwhelmed mother drowning in a glass of water? All these identities, in which we have different "flavors" of ourselves, are transient states of identity that are configured in different scenarios and with different people and then fade away to make room for another identity just as ephemeral and temporary.

So, with so many subpersonalities: Who are we really?: None of them and yet all of them.

• "None of them" because the true Self is behind or above all of them.
• "All of them" because when they come on stage, each acts as if we really were one of them.

The problem arises when we forget that these are just parts of us or costumes, and we take a certain character too seriously. We believe ourselves to be one of the many voices in our head, which is why one day we feel on top of the world, other days down, depending on which of our characters is speaking.

The Masterless House

In Sufism, there is a metaphor that illustrates what I am explaining: "The Masterless House." This metaphor describes a large residence filled with numerous servants, with the Master (symbolizing the true Self, from which one is generally disconnected) having gone on a journey.

In his absence (which would equate to our state of unconsciousness or autopilot), each servant claims the right to replace him, and they begin to fight among themselves to take control. One makes decisions, the next reverses them, another contradicts them, and yet another corrects them. This causes great chaos and disorder, as each believes they are correct and hold the truth.

This situation continues until the Master finds out and returns. Upon his return, he assumes total authority and puts everyone in their place. In most people, this anarchy occurs every day, throughout their lives... but no one realizes it. The mind has no "owner," and we don't even realize who reigns in our head.

The work on oneself consists of taking note of all our sub-personalities, recognizing their characteristics, their behavior patterns, the situations in which they appear, learning to observe them, and distancing ourselves from them. So that from Full Consciousness, we can manage them, without taking any of them too seriously.

As one learns to know oneself and recognizes all their parts, they learn to establish a kind of "democracy" where all voices are heard, but the final decision is made from Consciousness and not from the clamor of scattered and authoritarian voices. Through this work, the mind becomes more homogeneous, unified, and gains internal coherence because each of our characters becomes subordinate to the Master, who governs. Similarly, consciousness must guide and lead our lives so that we don't get sidetracked each time one of our characters believes itself to be the protagonist.

How to Stop Feeling Divided?

To become an individual (someone not divided), it is fundamental to self-observe. It's essential to understand in detail the constitution of that complex and multiple mosaic of subpersonalities. We must realize that what we call "I" is a fiction, not solid as we tend to imagine: it is impermanent and constantly being updated.

When we recognize the fluctuations in our identity, we don't jump to hasty conclusions or believe everything our sub-personalities shout at us simultaneously. We learn to summon the Master, our Consciousness, to take command and restore order, listen to all the parts that make us up, and make lucid and sensible decisions.

The next time you feel conflicted, remember that you are a multiplicity of "selves," each one pulling and trying to impose itself with all its strength. Don't believe in your dramas or comedies. Don't let any of your characters swallow you up. Take a step back, observe, wait for the tide to ebb, and allow your Full Consciousness to guide your life with wisdom.