The importance of giving and keeping our word

The Value of a Given Word

Nothing erodes trust—both in ourselves and others—more than giving our word and not keeping it. Those who take the value of their word lightly fail to realize how deeply damaging it can be to the respect they hold for themselves and the respect others have for them.

To “give our word” is to stake our dignity as proof that we will fulfill a promise or commitment. When we say one thing and do another, we lose credibility. Becoming a person who is not credible is a grave consequence.

There’s a common phrase we often use to describe people who fail to honor their commitments: “They’re not reliable.” This means they don’t stand firm on what they say; their word lacks strength, easily blown away by even the slightest wind or obstacle.

When the Other Person Can’t Be Trusted

Unreliable people are toxic, and we must learn to keep them at a distance. Time and again, they generate disappointment, frustration, and unnecessary stress.

Those who fall victim to such people—who say one thing but do another—live in constant ambivalence between trusting and ceasing to trust. What’s worse, unreliable people often have a knack for playing the victim, justifying their actions, making excuses, and promising they’ll do better “next time.”

The individuals most often deceived by these unreliable personalities are those for whom a given word holds great weight, solidity, and firmness. These people believe that others value their word just as much. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.

At some point, those who feel repeatedly betrayed must say “enough!” and stop granting credibility. Someone who lies or breaks their word once, twice, or even three times will likely do so six, twenty, or a thousand more times in their life. Such individuals may never fully grasp the harm they cause others—and themselves—with this unhealthy and unwise habit.

The True Loser in This Dynamic

Without a doubt, the greatest loss in this dynamic is borne by the perpetrator who abuses the goodwill of others. In the short term, they may feel rewarded for avoiding a responsibility, ignoring an obligation, or evading an unpleasant task. However, in the long term, this behavior inflicts serious damage on their relationships—damage that is difficult to repair.

The harm isn’t only in their relationships with others but also in their relationship with themselves.

Their head begins to hang lower, their gaze drops, and their shoulders hunch because what keeps a person upright is the backbone of their honesty, integrity, and honor. These values, dismissed as unimportant in the moment, persist in the subconscious. Time and again, the subconscious brings these lapses to light, urging the person to evolve and align their inner self with the image of the person they wish to become—or claim to be to others.

When We Can’t Trust Ourselves

Our relationships with others are mirrors reflecting what lies within us.

Those who give their word but fail to honor it likely tell themselves countless times, “Next time, I’ll do it. I’ll quit smoking, take that exam, lose weight, eat healthier, finish what I started…” The list of broken promises to oneself is endless—and it deeply damages self-esteem.

When we stop believing in our own word, we feel it’s no longer worth setting goals because we inherently know we won’t achieve them.

A person who lacks self-trust is almost incapable of living a healthy and fulfilling life.

Making Promises We Can Keep

Before making a promise to ourselves, we must pause and ask:

• Am I willing to put in the necessary effort?
• Do I have the time, resources, and energy to fully commit to this promise?

The value of giving our word lies in holding ourselves accountable to fulfill it. A person who keeps their word to themselves is more likely to achieve their goals and go further in life than someone who doesn’t take themselves seriously.

When we speak, our actions must align with our words. The more we cultivate the habit of honoring our commitments, the more selective we become about the promises we make.

Modesty Over Grandiosity

It’s better to set modest goals, fulfill them, and reinforce self-confidence than to aim for something grand, only to fall short or never begin at all.

The Value of Honesty in Relationships

In our relationships, broken promises often stem from our inability to say “no” to something we don’t want or difficulty expressing disagreement. Consequently, we commit to things we ultimately don’t fulfill.

It’s far less damaging to a relationship to be honest and sincere, even if the truth isn’t what the other person wants to hear, than to become unreliable and untrustworthy.

Trusting Ourselves and Others Equally

Some people place greater importance on keeping promises to others than to themselves. While maintaining others’ trust is important, the trust we have in ourselves is equally significant.

These individuals may be admired and well-liked, but internally, they often feel insecure when setting new, challenging goals. This is why trust must be cultivated both outwardly and inwardly. Our word must carry the same strength and conviction when we shake another’s hand as it does when we look at ourselves in the mirror.

Fulfillment Is Liberating

Honoring our word is not just a moral duty—it’s an essential ethic that liberates us from the traps of self-deception.

When we fulfill our promises, we ease our psychological burdens, lighten our emotional load, and strengthen our self-esteem. We feel worthy of respect, dignity, and value.

Our subconscious “knows” when we fall short. Many self-sabotaging behaviors are unconscious attempts to compensate for our neglect and irresponsibility. Often, the things that “don’t work out” in life reflect an inner sense of unworthiness that has quietly taken root.

The Next Time You Give Your Word…

Pay attention to the promises you make—whether big or small. Ensure you can fulfill them. The more value your word holds, the more respect you’ll earn from others, and the stronger your self-esteem will grow.

In a society where words are often disregarded, being a credible and trustworthy person is highly valuable—and brings the greatest rewards to our lives.

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