Passive Spectators or Active Protagonists
Life reveals itself to us. With its movements, it reminds us of its impermanent and transitory character. What is certain today becomes a great uncertainty tomorrow. The urgent soon becomes insignificant, and what was, after a short time, ceases to be. Life can be perceived as a succession of meaningful, interconnected events or as a chaotic, disordered series of events occurring by chance or fate.
We can choose to be passive spectators or active protagonists in the development of our finite existence. Choosing the latter means seeing ourselves on the stage of life, getting involved in what happens to us and recognizing the synchronicities that arise, not as mere coincidences. Feeling alienated is assuming that what surrounds us has nothing to do with us. Meanwhile, to feel involved is to feel part; It is looking inward and realizing our participation in our existence.
'Who looks outside dreams, he who looks inside awakes.' - Carl G. Jung.
From the perspective of transpersonal psychology, we distinguish a part of oneself, of one's inner being, called the 'Essence.' Carl Gustav Jung refers to it as the 'Self.'
This Essence is provided with a body to undergo its learning in this life. Its purpose is to 'evolve,' under conditions that may impede it. What does this mean? That the growth resulting from each experience and lesson will not always be facilitated, nor will the journey necessarily be pleasant.
Pain is an invitation from life to overcome difficult circumstances. The reward is to rebuild oneself more solidly after navigating the fissures of existence.
Thus, everything that happens to us is intended to mobilize internal learning, to leave this life differently than how we arrived. It's as if life were a furnace that bakes us with the heat of experiences lived from the moment we arrive until we leave.
This is very difficult to understand for those who, facing events and their circumstances, ask 'Why me?' Positioned from this perspective, they feel victimized, get angry, complain, struggle with life, resist, and compare themselves to others, whom they perceive as more fortunate. In contrast, there are others who, instead of 'demanding' from life, question it with more humility and clarity. A sharp assertion is replaced by a profound inquiry."
What is life asking of me?
What is life asking of me? What do I need to learn from the circumstances I am currently navigating? What do I need to work on within myself through this person?
This stance of acceptance, non-resistance, and surrender becomes possible when we manage to look beyond our pain, beyond our anger, when we are ready to let go of how we wished things would be and prepare ourselves to act on what is possible. It's not about underestimating the emotions we feel, but rather recognizing and transcending them. A reflective outlook that accompanies our feelings adds a 'sense' and a deeper richness to the pure and visceral emotionality of the moment.
Sometimes, this reflection becomes possible only after some time has passed. When the most tremendous experiences become memories, or when anger gives way to introspection. At this point, it becomes possible to look back...not to resent, but to 're-feel' the same, but with enough distance to contemplate what happened in the broader context of our own life. What did that tough experience leave me with? What was born within me after that painful loss? What resources did I develop in that context? What did I manage to stop doing after that event that shook my existence?
From this emotionally mature perspective, what we have lived through has meaning.
The 'What for?'
The 'What for?' encourages us to actively intervene in life. It stimulates us to make the necessary movements for our growth, allowing us to rectify our course when the direction seems wrong. Letting go of the impediments that hinder growth is the result of the 'awareness' that comes when we find answers to that foundational question of new identities. When what happens to us does not happen in vain, we emerge transformed from each experience. We have managed to 'sift' what happens to us through the filter of realizing the purpose behind our experiences.
The 'Why?' immerses us in impossibility, clings us to pain, and attaches us to anger. Like children, we throw tantrums and get angry with 'fate,' insisting on wanting different cards instead of playing the best hand with what we have.
Nothing in this life happens by chance; there is no fate other than what we need to experience. The people we relate to speak about ourselves; if, instead of judging the external, we set about working on what these others 'stir' within our inner selves.
Nothing in this life happens by chance; there is no fate other than what we need to experience
The response to 'What for?' instead of remaining anchored in 'Why?' is the compass that guides us in our personal and intimate work of those who choose to evolve and expand their consciousness as much as possible.
The proposal for everyday implementation is then: to observe what happens to us with the clear intention of assuming 'responsibility' for those events that we have so far called coincidence. Responsibility means 'responding with ability' to life's situations. Assuming an inquisitive attitude towards our own fate makes us adept at becoming experts on ourselves.
This event, this circumstance, this crisis, this pain, this bond...what does it demand of me? What gift, skill, or resource do I need to develop? Is life telling me to let go? Perhaps, to mature? To learn to be free? To give myself what I demand? To dare what I have not before? To practice a virtue? To leave behind a limitation? To close that chapter? To value what I took for granted?
Writing our own script means ceasing to assume that everything is written or the result of chance or mere coincidence. It's about feeling like authors of our existence and co-authors of the universal script, which we all are part of and contribute to with our own essential evolution.
'If you want to change the world, change yourself.'